Episode 1
Double cancer didn't cause depression. Giving birth did: LIZ WISE
Specialist Postnatal Depression Counsellor Liz Wise talks about her own personal experience of PND, which she suffered from with the birth of both her daughters. Despite surviving cancer twice, losing both her parents, losing two of her best friends and going through a very stressful divorce, none of these events ever gave Liz depression. Yet having her daughters did.
We also speak to Liz’s daughter Emma. Whilst Liz’s mental illness caused bonding issues with Emma as a baby, this did not affect their relationship growing up. In fact, Emma says she feels Liz’s experience of PND made her an even better mum.
Liz made a full recovery. Since then she has been supporting mothers with postnatal depression for over twenty five years. She sits on the committee for The Association for Postnatal Illness and has her own charity The Cedar House Support Group which offers help to mothers through support groups in London and Surrey. Liz offers confidential one to one counselling either face to face, phone, online or email and runs PND support groups in London and Surrey. (LINK IN SUPPORT BELOW)
In this episode we discuss:
[00:00] Introduction to Liz Wise – the queen of PND!
[01:49] Liz's traumatic molar pregnancy which developed into cancer (choriocarcinoma)
[02:46] The joy of finding she was pregnant with Emma
[04:11] Feeling disconnected from her baby
[05:04] Anxiety, her struggle with breastfeeding and wanting to withdraw from friends
[06:05] Liz's first panic attack whilst out shopping
[06:25] Getting support
[08:37] Over-compensating for her lack of feelings for Emma
[09:48] How it felt to be diagnosed with PND
[10:27] Suicidal feelings, referral to a psychiatrist and support from family
[14:12] Approaching having a second child
[15:42] Bonding with her new baby
[16:02] Coming down with PND for a second time - developing health anxiety
[20:06] Why Liz is grateful for experiencing PND - advice for other mums
[22:07] Liz's daughter Emma's experience of growing up with a mum affected by PND
[25:14] How Emma learnt about her mum’s PND
[27:24] Emma’s work as a virologist & work in SARS-CoV-2
[28:16] Normalising the conversation around mental health issues
[29:33] Emma speaks positively about the benefits of having a mum with PND
[33:31] A message to other parents - you’re not alone, you're not going to mess up your children
*** TRIGGER WARNING: These are real-life conversations, from the heart, so please listen with discretion. Please also refer to our SUPPORT section below ***
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
- You are not alone and will not feel this way for ever
- Bonding issues won’t affect your relationship with your child later on
- Talking about your feelings can normalise mental health issues
- Support is available (please see SUPPORT links below)
- Having PND can have a positive affect on your child
If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.
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Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com
NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:
In Episode 2 of Blue MumDays, I’ll be talking to Emily Goldhill about what it was like to have her baby during the height of the Covid pandemic in 2020, and how this contributed to her postnatal depression.
SUPPORT:
If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).
Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)
Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.
Email: app@app-network.org
Tel: 020 3322 9900
Association of Postnatal Illness
Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868
Email: info@apni.org
Live chat online facility
Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy and early stages of parenting.
App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides 24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.
Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk
Contact CALM on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)
Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)
Mobile: 07773 283556
Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)
Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org
Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to arrange
Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am – 4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko, and Bengali.
Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk
Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk
Text: 07415 206 936
Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In Clinic.
NHS
Contact your local GP surgery.
Call the NHS on 111 or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline
If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.
Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401
Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk
Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss.
Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/
Email: counselling@petalscharity.org
Tel: 0300 688 0068
Tel: 116 123 (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)
Web: www.samaritans.org
Email: jo@samaritans.org
Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.
Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.
Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509, alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.
Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html
Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.
Web: www.tommys.org
Helpline: Tommy’s helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
Email: midwife@tommys.org
MUSIC by Joseph McDade
