Episode 5
The Self-Compassion Episode: POONAM DHUFFER (Part 1)
Wellbeing Practitioner Poonam Dhuffer of YSM8 talks self-compassion and being kind to yourself, in the first part of this 'Blue Monday' special.
IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:
[00:17] Introduction to Poonam Dhuffer
[01:20] What actually is self-compassion?
[05:05] The research behind the theory
[06:10] The danger of negative self-talk - the 'Hag'!
[07:40] Poonam's own experience - anxiety and panic attacks
[09:50] Words have power and energy
[11:37] Comparison culture - competitive parenting / striving for perfection
[13:21] We're not taught about emotional regulation
[16:44] Reframing - opportunities for growth and learning
[19:31] It's an ongoing process, let the feelings flow
[21:00] The 3 core components of self-compassion (Dr Kristin Neff)
[23:44] Cultivating Mindfulness
[25:13] The affect on our body
[30:52] How 'being in the now' helps anxiety
[32:48] Control
[34:20] Focus on the good stuff
[36:07] Being true to what's right for you
[40:18] YOU ARE ENOUGH
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
- Looking after yourself is not an act of selfishness or weakness.
- If we can't take care of ourselves, how can we take care of others?
- Dr. Kristin Neff - https://self-compassion.org/ / TED talk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4
- The 3 core components of self-compassion: Self Kindness over Self Judgement, Common Humanity vs. Isolation and Mindfulness over Identification.
- Thoughts are like passing clouds, we are not defined by them or our emotions.
- Words are powerful - they can have a profound affect on your body. Make sure yours are positive and kind.
- The more you practice self-compassion, the more habitual it becomes.
- Get in touch with Poonam Dhuffer here - https://www.ysm8.co.uk/
If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.
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Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com
NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:
In Episode 6 we chat further with Poonam on practical tips for developing self-compassion.
SUPPORT:
If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER.
We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).
Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)
Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.
Email: app@app-network.org
Tel: 020 3322 9900
Andy's Man Club
A non-judgemental talking group for men
https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/
Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk
Association of Postnatal Illness
Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868
Email: info@apni.org
Live chat online facility
Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering
evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy
and early stages of parenting.
App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides
24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.
Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk
Contact CALM
on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)
Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)
Mobile: 07773 283556
Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.
Fathers Reaching Out
https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/
Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.
Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)
Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org
Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to
arrange
Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –
4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,
and Bengali.
Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk
Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk
Text: 07415 206 936
Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In
NHS
Contact your local GP surgery.
Call the NHS on 111
or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline
If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.
Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401
Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk
Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy
or baby loss.
Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/
Email: counselling@petalscharity.org
Tel: 0300 688 0068
Tel: 116 123
(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)
Web: www.samaritans.org
Email: jo@samaritans.org
Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.
Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All
the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.
Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,
alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.
Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html
Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.
Web: www.tommys.org
Helpline: Tommy’s
helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions
via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
Email: midwife@tommys.org
MUSIC by Joseph McDade
